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1. an absence of preconceived ideas or predetermined goals; a clean slate.
– the human mind, especially at birth, viewed as having no innate ideas.
Every New Year teems with new resolutions and intentions, as though we desire a seemingly clean slate to start out from again.
I say seemingly because in reality, there is no such thing. We come into the New Year with ALL the baggage from the Old Year. Our belief systems. Our patterns. Our bad habits. Our rules. Our stories.
In order to come into a clearer and more fulfilling year, first we need to look at what wasn’t working the previous year. Here are 8 things to look for, and eliminate from the New Year, to make considerable strides ahead.
1. Toxic people
Toxic people are usually individuals who are surrounded by drama; who leave you energetically drained just by being around you; who try to manipulate and control for their own gains; are needy, critical or judgmental; complain too much but do very little to change the situation; they blame others for all their problems, remaining victims and demonstrating an unwillingness to take personal responsibility.
Because of the undesirable nature of toxic people’s attitudes and behaviors, they not only remain in constant low-vibration states, but they drag others down with them. If you find yourself emotionally affected by another’s drama, complaints, and blame, start devising a plan to let such a person go. Personal mastery has no room for toxicity of any sort. Keep this in mind going forward in your New Year, and cut the cords with people who aren’t contributing positively to you, or aren’t supporting you forward in your goals.
2. Being stuck in The Past
We often feel let our past decisions, ways of acting, failures or mistakes define us. We breathe so much life into our past, because our past is our story. It’s our comfort zone, it’s what we know. The problem with that is… the more you stay stuck in your past, the more you perpetuate the same circumstances. Being stuck in the past also robs you of the nicer alternative of being Present, or creating for the Future. Remember this: the past is only there to give you the lessons you need to move you forward. You cannot move forward by constantly looking back. You are not the past; you are the present becoming the future.
3. Living for Other People
For most of us, we live our entire lives stuffing other people’s pockets, and barely getting by. We live our entire lives struggling to make ends meet, because we’ve been taught to play small, and to follow authority and rules. We live our entire lives with our dreams trapped inside of us, because we don’t know how to make our dreams a reality, or if that’s even possible, with the value system we’ve been ‘given’. It takes REAL courage to step outside the mass thinking, the norms of conditioning of exchanging meager dollars-for-hours that most working class abides by.
Truth is, unless you’re willing to take a good look at what your values and belief systems are, you’re probably going to be living for other people all your life. Living for Yourself means being in control of who you are, owning your dreams, making the financial reality that you desire possible, all the while feeling what a joy it is to be aligned with your purpose on the Planet, and not someone else’s. If you were still living for Other people and going by other people’s rules in 2014, now’s a good change to wipe the slate clean, and make your own rules about how life’s going to go from this point forward.
4. Complaining/Victimization Mode
5. Settling and Playing Small
No one ever made it BIG by playing small. We hold ourselves back from being authentic, real, the very truest expressions of who we are at our very core, because we fear being seen. We fear what others will think of us, so we give our power away. We fear we will outshine others. We feel we might lose something, or there’s a cost to playing full out. While there may well be “a cost”, it’s FAR less than the cost of settling and playing mediocre for the rest of your life. If 2014 has been a year of mediocrity for you, take a BIGGER stand for yourself today, and say “Mediocrity no more.”
6. Comfort Zone
This is the number one reason why people fail to turn their dreams to reality. Everyone wants to change something in their lives, but not many are willing to do what it takes to create that change. Any type of change requires courageous actions in the face of years of old programming and conditioning, old habits (that die hard -those bastards-) and outmoded belief systems.
The first thing my coach ever taught me was to learn how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. (As an entrepreneur), everything feels uncomfortable, much of the time. Unless you’re willing to be okay with that going forward, not much is going to change. This is why they say doing the same actions will yield the same results. Getting different results requires new/ different actions, which means you need to compromise your comfort zone. By expanding your horizons and pushing your limits, you will discover aspects of yourself you didn’t even know you had.
Courage, dear one, courage.
Self- judgment comes in many shapes and forms. “I’m not good enough.” “I’m not worthy.” “I’m a failure.” “I’m not lovable.” All of these false statements go against the very nature of who we really are. As a coach, this is one of the most prevalent problem that I see in my clients. And as a coach, I also have a duty to see each client’s greatness even if they have yet to see it in themselves. Self-compassion against the ego, the shadow, the inner critic, the subconscious mind…disarms it. Softens it. Heals it. Lets it know it’s okay.
Move forward in compassion, and you’ll open the door to new possibilities, and new aspects of you in 2015.
8. Jealousy/ Comparisons/ Striving for Perfection
Here’s another set of toxic habits that keep a person small, ineffective, and constantly chasing the next best thing, while feeling like they’re never good enough. Ever feel that way? Envy is a sign of lack. It reveals the envious person doesn’t believe s/he can have the object of their envy. Jealousy is a sign of fear of loss. It reveals the person who is jealous is threatened by the loss of something. Comparisons and perfection seeking are 2 faces of the same coin: “I’m not good enough.” Yeap. More self-judgment. More false beliefs about the self.
If ever you find yourself feeling envious of someone else, stop. Bless them for what they have, for in blessing them, you bring more of it to you. In envying them, you are cutting the flow of it to you, for you don’t believe it exists for you.
Make 2015 a time and place of abundance. A time and place of being good enough, deserving enough, making enough, having enough, being enough.
What do you want to make of your tabula rasa? How will 2015 be different? What can you let go of that no longer serves you going forward?
Make a list, and begin releasing and letting go at once. This type of freedom will feel so good, I promise.
In love and with purpose,
PS. Struggling with getting your slate clean? Don’t know how to start changing, but know you need to make a change? Start with having the courage to step outside your comfort zone. I can help.
I invite you to explore mentorship opportunities and support with me during a free 30 min call together.
::This opportunity is right for you if you are in for real and lasting change in your personal life and/or business, and you are actively looking for support from a coach and mentor with extensive knowledge and real life experience to guide you through. If that’s you, I invite you to apply for a session with me::