What does ‘losing yourself’ have to do with ‘ finding yourself’? Everything.

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My coach once told me… “Andra, if you truly want to be free, you have to be yourself. And in order to be yourself, you have to know who you are.”

The past few months have been a grand time of deep exploration and letting go of old versions of myself I no longer identified with. It’s been the finishing up, the closing, the end of old desires, and completion of a cycle. So many have been going through this transition, metamorphosis. Have you been feeling it?

For me, there’s a feeling at present of moving into a new cycle, new place, rebirth, re-creation. It’s a space of fully owning my feelings, needs and emotions. Of incorporating this new self-awareness and moving forward with ease.

The struggle comes from lacking the awareness of who we really are.


1) In order to be where you want to be, you have to abandon all definitions of who you think you are, or who you’ve been told you are. I’ve come to realize that much of the reason why we struggle is because we are confined in “boxes”.

The “corporate” box.
The “mother” box.
The “I’m not good enough” box.
The “I can’t stand out or else” box.
The “what will they think of me” box.

These boxes take away from our happiness.

From our authenticity as human beings.
From our freedom of self-expression.
From our deepest calling.
From our soul’s purpose.
From who we are… as spiritual being, our “God-ness”.

Can you imagine how many of these boxes we have to break through in order to reveal “our true self”? How much social conditioning, pressures, expectations and limiting beliefs we must shatter, to get even a glimpse of who we really are?

Once you reach this point of awareness, there’s an existential crisis that happens. You begin to notice the rules you’ve been playing by, the boxes you’ve been stuffing yourself in; the roles and costumes you so obligingly put on for others are beginning to not feel so genuine to your soul.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is a beautiful moment, where duality begins to happen.

2) This, is where you have to lose yourself, to find yourself.

It’s a slippery slope down a rabbithole so deep, if you knew what was coming you’d likely never have tried it to begin with. Such is the way of freedom, of the entrepreneur path, the path of doing things your own way.

My friend Chloe says: “You might actually end up losing the things you worked so hard for; you might stand to lose a few of the most precious things… From where you came everything made sense, to where you’re going nothing makes sense.”

That’s the beauty of finding yourself. Allowing the boxes to crumble behind you. Allowing the old definitions of yourself to dissipate. Allowing the old tapes and stories to be rendered useless. Allowing yourself to be completely undefined.

It’s all about giving yourself permission to Be. Be Yourself.

be you

3) You have to surrender to a bigger You.

The existential crisis becomes a disaster. You question your values. Your belief systems. Your perspective on life as it is. Your very sanity. You want to trust your intuition, but you’re so terribly scared. You want to go back, but you know you can’t. Living a lie is no longer an option, as comforting as it once was.


After a (literally) 9 month hiatus, call it incubation period… I completely surrendered. I no longer felt the pressure of having to be “the crystal healer”, “the business woman”, “the success coach”, “the English teacher”, “the energy worker”, and so on. I no longer concerned myself with how people saw me.

That actually, it didn’t matter what they thought of me, or what box they put me in, because this wasn’t about me to begin with. It’s about the work I came here to do. My vision. My purpose. My soul’s calling.

wont understand

Surrendering meant I was ready to play a bigger game. Not for myself, but for those that I came here to serve. For those that I choose to dedicate my life’s work to, in service, in love, in compassion, in understanding.

After rebelling against everything and everyone, I understood it wasn’t about resisting. It was simply about finding my own way. The way that works for me, and for me only, because it’s in alignment with my vision. It’s divinely designed. It’s my soul’s blueprint, and my soul’s blueprint only. There are none like it, nor will there ever be.

Back to my friend Chloe’s wiseness: “You will try other ways, they won’t work for you. You will find your way, the way that is meant for you. Uniquely designed for you. Only you can find this way.”

I found it. Coming out of duality, I share with you my story of coming into integrity with myself. Owning my desires, which are burning to be expressed and shared.

In coming out of the duality of all those versions of “me” I felt I had to be for others, I feel like I’ve given myself permission to be broken open.

In my own vulnerability, I choose to be myself. And as vulnerable as it feels, it so freeing. It’s been a messy process, but it’s so beautiful.

When you give yourself permission to be you, you gain the strength to change the world.

And change the world, I will.


Do not concern yourself with those who do not believe in your message. Focus only on those who do. There has never been a person on Earth who was liked and embraced by everyone. You were not born to please them all. You were born to be you. ~ Anna Taylor

PS. What changes have you gone through lately? How are you deciding to give yourself permission to be FEARLESSLY YOU from this point on? Write your experiences in the Comments Section below! Would absolutely Love to hear from you. ♥

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