This particular poem is the exact reason why I have been holding out on writing my usual museletters the past little while. 

No, I didn’t fall off the face of the Planet.
(although contemplating my mortality is certainly cause for falling madly in love with my dreams & making them happen pronto)

No, I didn’t voluntarily remove you from my list.
(unless you’re my ex, in which case, there is a real possibility that I may have :D)

And no, I didn’t get married, nor pregnant.
(my mom’s dreams of becoming a grandmother are all coming crashing down as we speak)

Sarcastic humor aside, and truth be told…

I have been busy DRAWING LINES. Asking the important questions.

Putting clear boundaries in place around who I am and who I am not.
What my dreams are, and what others want my dreams to be.
What I love, and what I don’t.
What inspires me & makes me feel like I belong, and what doesn’t.
How others want my life to be lived versus how I do. 

In doing so, I recognised the urgency of giving In to all of my gifts, instead of all of my fears.

Because while they’ve been keeping me safe and protected – protected from making mistakes, disappointing others, risking rejection – they sure haven’t helped me make a bigger difference in this world. 

Here’s what this looks like in real time:

SCENARIO #1)
A 5-minute video submission (click below) for an Apprenticeship Program I really resonate with, called Sold Out Launch.

Now, keep in mind, my online presence has been slow as of late. My coaching business has been running well locally, and referrals have made it such that I have not really needed to have an online presence to keep things going.

HOWEVER, deep inside (and if you listen to my video), I absolutely know that I need to reach more people, and make more of an impact with my work.

So I entered this video contest. Except that 66% of the voting criteria was based on Likes, Shares and Comments! and only 33% on the content. YIKES!!

Here I am, having posted my video late at night, June 26th. (Not asking anyone for any likes, shares or comments.)

Waking up in the morning of June 27th, “organically” my reach had gotten me 48 views. In other words, Death, Doom, You’re Worthless, No One Cares! etc…

My fears started kicking in, and I really felt resistant to doing what I needed to do.

It put me in that vulnerable spot…

• Where you need to ask for help.
• Where you put your face out there.
• Where you tell people why it matters to you.
• Where you know that it probably makes no damn difference in their life if they help you or not, but it makes a Shitton of difference in yours, if they could just click on those shiny little “Like” “Comment” “Share” buttons.
• Where you begin to question if your worth and fate for this apprenticeship program & beyond is determined by FB buttons!
• Where you wonder what people will say if you don’t win, and you created all this damn hype for nothing
• Where all your doubt and fears and insecurities come up cause you’ve been playing small online and being an invisible little shit, and now you’re plastering your face everywhere and wonder how people are going to react.

Yeap. That was me. (And probably anyone else that entered the contest that didn’t have a solid social media following of 4K+, was just starting out, never made a video in their life, and the like…)

Still, I knew that even if I didn’t win (the calibre of talent and the number of entries has been Astounding to say the least), there would be so many other benefits that could come from this.

So I did it. I took action. I posted again. I asked for help. I notified people on my FB account. On my 2 pages. I didn’t go as far as to tag people’s names in my post, or spam people with mass group messages, because that felt really out of integrity for me. 

But in doing what I was afraid of doing… 

I reached 1823 people with my ONE post.
678 views. (I *STILL* have trouble believing this number.)
21 shares.
24 likes on my page, and over 40 likes on my account.
Many, many comments.
13 new FB Page followers.
2 new subscribers to my list.

And while the FB statistics are nice, what I really gained was this:

I reconnected to my peeps.
I got a MASSIVE response that I didn’t even expect, contrary to my fears.
I got to support other people like me in the process.
I built a small community of new friends as a result of participating & connecting with others.
I stretched my comfort zone to ask for help.
I rekindled my love for making videos.
I played in Photoshop and redid my banners and logo as a result of my creativity boost.
I reaffirmed to myself the activities that I LOVE doing, and what is meaningful for me to spend time on.

I didn’t win the Apprenticeship, but all those of us that participated got this Super duper Gift of taking part in the program at half the cost!

So guess what, I’m in!! 

Because my dreams aren’t worth it only if I can get in for Free.
Because people’s services are worthwhile and money is a beautiful way of compensating someone for using their God-given gifts they’ve worked all their life on to help you transform.
Because I know how much time and effort and love and sweat and tears and blood and labor goes into making your own programs, and the tremendous value that goes in them to help others succeed.

And that’s exactly the kind of thing that I’m ready to do now online. 

It’s my heart.
It’s my dreams.
It’s my gifts.
It’s all those books I’ve read.
It’s the thousands of hours that I’ve studied.
It’s the many years of life experience that have shaped me.
It’s the tens of thousands of dollars that I’ve invested in myself and my personal growth to date.
It’s the many teachings and wisdom that I have gained from all my mentors and teachers up to now.
It’s the sacrifices that I’ve made so far, to MAKE it this far.
It’s the fact that I’ve come too far to stop, and I know I’m ready for the next level up.

It’s in me.

And I want to use this platform so that it can be OUTSIDE of me too… For others like YOU to benefit from the gifts that I’ve been given. 

So BOTTOM LINE IS:

I’m crafting a new sense of TRUSTING in myself and what I have to offer to the world.

I know that not everyone will resonate with it, and I’m totally okay with that.

Taking action *always* gets you closer to your dreams, regardless of final outcome.

Breaking down the walls of comfort that keep you playing small game for so long feels SO FUCKING GOOD. (if you’re able to vanquish your fears, that is)

Being Bold and fearlessly sharing with others, in an effort to inspire them to do the same is so Liberating.

*

You don’t eradicate fear. You simply decide to do what you’re afraid of anyways, and see how it goes. And this is me doing *just* that. Because I want to *connect* with you more. I genuinely want these e-mails to be personal, true, authentic, and from the heart. And sometimes that means feeling exposed, or risking rejection, or not staying in your comfort zone.
ALLLL good, as I’m willing to take that risk, and I’m so grateful that you’ve created a space for me to do that.

We’re in this together! <3